Association of Female Executives of Trinidad and Tobago

Dear Judette,
I am a twenty-six year old female and have recently arrived from the UKwith my masters and some work experience in project and research analysis. I have received several interesting job offers in TnT. I have very high ambitions for my career. But here is my problem, at least that's what some people are calling it, I am engaged to a wonderful man and intend to start a family. Do you think that is it is possible to have both a successful career that takes me to the highest level in a corporation and a young family?

Sharon Connell
Port of Spain, Trinidad.

Dear Sharon,
In the rarefied upper reaches of a high altitude career where the air is thin, men have a much easier time finding oxygen. It's no rocket science to figure out why? Men, God bless them, are expected to put less time into family and household commitments. And they do not have to deal with a ticking biological clock; women in the thirties often say that clock ticks more like a bomb as they inch closer to their forties.

Work/Life balance? Hmm Hmm, Sharon. I would say the two are definitely possible if you want to remain in middle management. But you my dear have declared your intentions. It's the high road. You intend to stride to the top. While doing so you might as well face some facts.

At a recent Women in Leadership Conference put on by the Employers Consultative Association, Chief Executive Officer of Pizza Boys, Jearleen John gave a mind blowing, honest assessment of work/ life balance. And from her account Sharon, the question is really one of choice. It is literally impossible to desire the CEO position and be the devoted, caring wife and mother who rushes home to prepare dinner and insist that everyone sits at the table for the six o'clock meal. According to John, women have to decide if they want to breed or succeed.

Here are some brutally honest statistics to support her stance. In a 2001 survey published by researcher and author Sylvia Hewitt about executive women in the US, 49 % of ultra achieving career women ages 41-55 did not have children and 33 % were unmarried. Some had stay-at- home husbands whose set up offices at the house.

And therein lies my answer to your question. The man you've described as wonderful. Have you seriously discussed with him, the realities of your ambitions and more importantly have you enlisted his help both in the home and with your children? Does he understand that the decision to sacrifice home life for work will not be solely your prerogative. I would also advise that if your parents are alive and live close by you get them to buy in to the vision you have for your corporate life. Many successful executive women often laud their terrific support systems.

Also you're 26. It's perhaps wise to use the next three year to build your experience in your new job. Make sure you ask for line management experience and global projects. Get that under you belt before your decide to start you family. Your ambition dictates I suppose that you may prefer a small family. Sharon, I would think that much of your future success will depend on the organisation you choose. Look at the number of women comprising the Board. Does the company promote and train women? Does the organisation support women's progress into management?

Finally Sharon, in your quest to have it all make sure you enjoy it all. Business as well as marriage should be hard work, but also rip roaring fun.

Judette Coward is the founder and MD of a communications and brand development firm. She is a former Board member of AFETT and currently spearheads an AFETT research project on the Top Five Companies for Female Executives in Trinidad and Tobago.